UpBeat Living: Decoding Love |
( İKebba Buckley 2000, World Rights Reserved) Kebba@Primenet.Com Do you want more love? People communicate respect, regard, caring, affection, and love, in 6 different ways. When we know what these are, we suddenly notice the many, many signals of caring and love that are coming our way all the time. We can also then choose to get our love messages across in someone else's style, to be sure they're getting our signals.
The easiest ones to hear are The Verbalizers. They tell you, "I love you", "you're super", "I'm so glad you're in my life", "we're so glad you could come for dinner this evening", "let's get together again soon". They use words. You can use words back to them. This is clear. You know when these folks are expressing love.
Second easiest to understand are The Gifters. These folks show up with a flower from their garden, a packet of cookies they made, or a card for your birthday. Of course, they may bring fine chocolates and jewelry, and that's all right, too. Some of these folks will send you a plane ticket.
The third group is still somewhat easy to understand. These are The Touchers. They hug you hello, they touch your arm for emphasis, they hold your hand, they may rub your neck. They show they care through touch. One holiday, I went to join friends at their home. Their small nephew really likes people. As the front door opened, I saw a streak coming toward me. It was the Human Love Bullet! Little Riggs jetted into my leg, throwing his arms around my knee. I felt so loved.
The fourth type is often unrecognized. These are the Do-Fors. These people are always doing something for you. In men, this may take the form of always fixing things around your house. In women, this more often takes the form of cooking something for you or offering you something they have prepared. These folks bring your paper in from the driveway, pick up something you've dropped, and ask if you need anything from the grocery store. For a group, they volunteer to sing and do readings and prepare snacks for events.
Now, you may be thinking, "but, I give gifts and do things for people". Yes, you are a combination type. And most people are combination types. Your loved ones are lucky.
The fifth type is the most difficult love communicator for many people to understand. These are the Quality Time People. They hang out with you. They may call and just stay on the phone, and you're thinking, what does this person want? They're telling you they care about you by spending time with you. They may come by your house and have no apparent reason. They want to spend time with you. They may not know this is their way of communicating regard, affection, or even love. But now you know. Plan activities with them. It may not matter what activity, just plan something, and spend time with them. The last group is the Cash Communicators. They tell you they care with money. We see this in parents of college kids, as in, "How are things going? Do you need any money?" In this type of love communication, money is truly the currency of caring. Some people who can't communicate caring any other way rely on giving money as their means of sharing.
So we can see love takes many forms. And there's so much more love going around than we have been recognizing. How about that kind driver on the Freeway this week, who sweetly pulled back to let you into the lane you needed? This is lovingkindness. How about the smile from a stranger in the grocery store? This is the look that tells you another human wishes you well.
LOVE: It feels good and helps your health. Let's receive it, send it, and enjoy it, in all its forms. The Apostle Paul said, "Make love your aim." Now you can aim more accurately. And, now you can decode when love is aiming for you.