Gore National Monument: Kitchen From Beyond the Stars

by Alan Gore

It’s time once more for the annual great backyard Salon we call Gore National Monument. Come to the Gore place on Saturday, October 17, to enjoy all the good cheer you have come to expect from us. We’ll have both fireplaces going, and the hot tub. This year, we celebrate the addition of something new: Ursula’s new Kitchen 2.0. It may not be quite complete by Salon time, but soon we will be able to beam down any conceivable meal therein, and in the best-looking setting imaginable. Does your crummy kitchen have its own Ethernet connection? There will be storage space enough to cram away anything, like a carping husband, that might otherwise get in the way of extreme food preparation.

The city recycling program has finally come to this part of north Phoenix, so to inaugurate the new service we are inviting everyone to bring his or her favorite bad investment to be chucked into the new blue container. What do you have under the mattress that has not, in the current bear market, turned out to be as valuable as you once thought: Russian bonds? Clinton posters? Gold bars? That Internet stock that used to sell for a googolplex times earnings? A digital watch that you found not to be millennium compliant? Potlatch them now, and concentrate on doing better in the coming new year.

The festivities begin at 7 p. m. on October 17. If you are new to the Gore place, call Ursula or Alan at 863-9648 for directions.