Catching Up on the News |
So many things are happening these days that it’s impossible for the news media to keep up with all of it. As a result, a lot of important news tends to get lost in the shuffle. This month’s column will bring its readers up to date on some of the major items they may have missed.
CRIMINALS TAKING UP GOLF: Thieves in Arizona and around the country have been breaking into golf stores and pro shops, targeting the popular Callaway and other high-priced clubs, which can cost $350 to $500 each. At a break-in at the Country Club Pro shop, about $15,000 worth of merchandise was stolen. "The financial loss would have been much greater if they had broken in the night before," the owner said, "because we just that morning finished marking everything in the store down 30% for our annual sale."
SCIENCE NEWS: Scientists meeting at an international conference in Switzerland last week voted the thermos bottle as the most puzzling invention of the last century. When asked about the decision a spokesman said, "It keeps hot liquids hot, and cold liquids cold. So far, we have not been able to determine how it tells the difference."
KENNETH STARR INVESTIGATION: According to sources close to her former attorney William Ginsburg, if Monica Lewinsky had been granted immunity she would have been willing to testify that she had sexual relations with Bill Clinton, moved Vincent Foster’s body, and shot Secretary of Commerce Ron Brown.
MENTAL HEALTH: According to a recent survey by the American Psychological Society 15% of those questioned said that if they became depressed, they would turn to family members for help. 85% said that if it weren’t for family members, they wouldn’t be depressed.
ENGLISH ONLY LAW: The Arizona Supreme Court has struck down the state’s "English only" law. In its decision, the court said the law was unconstitutional because it did not contain any penalties for egregious misuse of the English language. If there had been sanctions against grammatical errors like "He gave it to my brother and I" or mispronunciations like "nu-cu-lar" the law would have been acceptable.
SUMMER DRIVING TIP: With summer temperatures approaching in the West and Southwest, the Arizona Department of Traffic advises drivers in Sun City that, no matter how hot it is, they should remove the sun protector from the windshield while driving.
FINANCIAL NEWS: BankAmerica and Nationsbank announced their merger to form the nation’s largest bank. The new bank, which will keep the BankAmerica name, will have $570 billion in assets, 180,000 employees and 3 windows open.
MORE PRESIDENTIAL SCANDAL: Newsweek reported that a Dallas woman, Dolly Kyle Browning,, intends to sue Bill Clinton for defamation because in his deposition he said he never had an affair with her. She says the President’s denial calls her a liar and is damaging sales of her book.
WOMEN’S LIB: In response to a survey about how people would act if the Titanic disaster occurred today, 35 percent of the men said they would let women go into the lifeboats first. 3 percent of the women said men should go first.
SELF-DEFENSE STATISTIC: More concealed gun permits have been applied for by elderly people than by any other group. Statistics show that when ladies are being mugged, they can never find the gun in their handbag and the mugger gets away with the handbag, the money and also ends up owning an illegal weapon.
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY: A major electronics manufacturer has announced plans to make a VCR-computer-TV unit all in one. Their aim is to make a unit that is never out of the shop.
EDUCATION NEWS: According to an education survey, colleges and universities are now relying more than ever on SAT and Achievement Test scores in deciding whom to accept. Admissions officers say it is necessary to do so, because 95% of all high school students in America are in the top half of their class.
REAL ESTATE NEWS: The Consumer Protection Agency has recommended that in every case to which it applies, the advertisements and the Bill of Sale of a house shall carry the following notice: "Warning! This school district contains a senior retirement community."
POLICE BLOTTER: Another bank robbery took place in Sun City yesterday. Witnesses say they saw the robber very clearly, and described him as being "of medium height and wearing a brown paper bag over his head." Police are distributing a composite drawing of the suspect.
MEDICAL NEWS: An article in the Journal of Medicine reports that women who suppress their anger are more likely to have a heart attack. Women who do not suppress their anger are more likely to give men a heart attack.